Trying to Conceive

I have heard that many people in my life either trying to conceive or announcing pregnancy. This time in a family’s life is so exciting. Just the single thought of creating, growing, and bringing a new life into this world is truly amazing.

As I look back on my four pregnancies, I have fond memories of the first time my husband and I agreed that it was time to try for another baby. All of my pregnancies were very different, but many feelings remain the same: Excitement of opening a new chapter in our life, worry about everything being okay, and a huge sense of responsibility about bringing a new life into the world.

Many of my friends also share these same feelings and worries. There is so much information on pregnancy, birth, and parenting, that it can be quite overwhelming when taking your first steps into this new world. I often think of what I would want to tell myself seven years ago, when I first found out I was pregnant with my oldest daughter. Here are just a few things I would say:

This is such an exciting time! Whether it’s your first or your fifth, each pregnancy began with two individuals loving one another. Sometimes when conception doesn't happen right away, worry can set in and some of the excitement can begin to diminish. This can also happen once pregnancy is confirmed. After my miscarriages, I was excited until I became pregnant, and then all the worry about possible problems set in. Looking back, I really wish I could have reassured myself that no matter what happened, I was pregnant or trying to conceive and it was a time to be cherished, no matter the outcome of the journey.

There are a million pregnancy tests out on the market; all claiming to get you results earlier and earlier. While I know we all would like to know right away whether we are pregnant or not, sometimes a little patience can go a long way. Every time I tested before my missed period, I always ended up testing a second time (or third or forth time), usually because it was negative, or a super, super faint “pregnant”. I personally found that waiting even a few days past can ease the agony and confusion, while also usually resulting in a clear and quick result.

No, not to conceive, but more to change your lifestyle. We often say: “Once I’m pregnant,” or “Once I’m a parent…”, but a great way to get ready to be a parent is to live that way. This includes things like eating healthy, changing habits, and even looking at your financials. Getting your health and livelihood ready for parenthood can be a lot easier when you aren't pregnant. Plus, it’s exciting to start preparing for this new exciting time. On the same note, if parenthood comes quicker than anticipated, pregnancy is 40 weeks long, and most parents quickly adapt and go on to have healthy pregnancies and wonderful parenthood experiences.

As hard as it is to imagine, all parents have incredible instincts and skills already built in. Sometimes all we need to do is train ourselves to listen to those instincts. If something doesn't feel right, look deep, and you are probably right. If everything feels right, it probably is.

If I were to share some of my experiences with my newly pregnant self seven years ago, I would think some of my experiences and decisions were completely crazy. While I never have wavered from my core morals and values, I have tried things as a mom that are definitely out of the ordinary and unconventional. While some of these things are different than I was raised, I feel I have discovered tools that have made me a better and healthier parent. At times, I may appear a little crazy, but I know deep down that my kids and my family are as healthy and happy as we can possibly be.

Congratulations to all the newly pregnant and those trying to conceive! Welcome to parenthood, no matter where you are in the journey!

Justina is a local mother, photographer, lactation consultant and parenting advocate. She may be contacted at http://www.growinglovingfamilies.com or [email protected].