Grace and Forgiveness

Why is grace and forgiveness so easy to accept yet so hard to give?

Ownership is perhaps the most important step in being forgiven. I’m not just talking about being forgiven by God, if you believe in Him. I’m talking about being forgiven by anyone: be it lovers, spouses, friends, children, neighbors, co-workers, parents, and yes – even ourselves. Now I know some of you are thinking, “What is she talking about now?”

Well let me explain, I’m talking about owning your transgressions, whatever they may be. I’m talking about taking that infamous finger that we all so easily point everywhere else and turning it around till it’s pointed squarely in our own faces. And yes I say us and our and we because as usual, I’m just as guilty as everyone else.

An apology without ownership holds no value. We so casually throw out those two little words: “I’m sorry,” without really meaning it. I’m sorry means nothing unless it is prefaced by true repentance. Now I know you all are thinking I’m being preachy with all these bible words like forgiveness, repentance, and transgressions. However I assure you, I’m not beating anyone over the head with my bible.

The words I use are not biblical words, they are human words. These words define steps we must take if we wish to truly be forgiven for our actions. Transgressions are no more than wrong doings, offenses, or violations. To repent simply means to feel regret and remorse for your actions. Forgive, now that’s the big one. That’s the hard one. That’s the one that shows our humanness so glaringly. Forgiveness means to absolve, to relieve, to stop blaming. And in our humanness, that is perhaps the hardest thing to do. To stop blaming, to forgive and let things go is so very difficult. We as humans want to store up the transgressions of others for future ammunition. If we truly forgive – and I mean really and truly forgive, from the heart –, we can no longer reach back into the past and whip out all the old wrongs we are holding in storage.

Forgiveness is also necessary for living in the moment as well as having a future. If we are all toting around suitcases, trunks, trainloads or cargo ships full of the transgressions of others.... Well let’s just say that’s a mighty heavy load to drag around. It is so very hard to let go of.

Imagine if everyone held every transgression against you for the rest of your life…it’s what we do…we hold on for dear life. We use every transgression like a brick to build walls of mistrust. I do it too. I’m a master mason when it comes to walls. I’m trying harder these days to let things go, to live in the present – to forgive.

Peace and blessings to you all... and may we all learn to forgive!