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Mother's Day: A Thank You to My Mom, Evelyn
I recently saw an ad video on Facebook that was a bogus job listing with video interviews. As you heard the description of job requirements, lack of pay, ridiculous hours and the applicant's reaction, it seemed like an impossible position to fill. Of course by the end you learned that it was the job of being a Mom. My daughter sent it to me as a way to say "Thank you, for all that you've done in my life". Well, I would not be half the mom I am if it was not for the role model of my own mother.
Although she is very private about the difficulties she faced as a child, I know that even from a young age she had to adapt, protect herself and her emotions and learn to be self sufficient. She was somewhat lonely in her early years, because of that loneliness it was always her desire when she married to have a large family. She wanted twelve kids, but after six her body could not handle any more.
Growing up, I lived in an atmosphere of love, respect, support and understanding. Mom was a great listener and philosopher. She could find that fine balance between supporting and deterring. Even when you made mistakes, Mom could admonish you but it was always in a way that helped you to realize how your decision affected you and others in a negative way and made you think about making better decisions in the future.
Our family had to deal with the heartbreak of losing my brother, her son. I can't imagine the pain and heartache of knowing you will never see a child again. Although my Mom was lost to us for a short time as she grieved in her room, it was not for so long that we were floundering. She knew that the rest of us needed her and so she pulled herself together to be there for us.
It was so difficult for my Mom to leave her dream home when my Dad retired. She was the matriarch of the family and was always the host for family get-togethers for the holidays, birthdays or any number of occasions. Our home had been open to grandparents when they were failing in health, to friends of ours if they were struggling or lost, for grandkids when things were rough. I always felt that my childhood home was my home no matter where I lived or who I was with. The invitation to live at my parent's home was always an open one if you hit hard times or were in need, so leaving that home and that position was extremely difficult. However, after six kids, several heartaches and working hard his entire life, my dad felt he deserved a quieter, more comfortable life with the woman he loved, so she gave it to him.
We were not a perfect group of people, but we have very strong family values. Dad has been gone for 19 years now, but Mom's strength of character and love of family continues to drive her to be there for each and every one of us. It's been a lifelong commitment and she has been incredibly resilient throughout.