Explaining an Internet dating site - Part 2

It has been said to me on more than one occasion that Tehachipites (or Tehachipians, depending on some criteria unfathomable to me) are either totally into computers, email and the internet or they are totally devoid of interest or knowledge in this modern contrivance.

Some blame age – that computer stuff doesn’t mix with the older crowd (geez, first we were post-war babies, then a fancy named generation and now we’re just a “crowd”?). Horsepucky. I’ve overheard conversations between octogenarians about their email and which server was better, Firefox or Internet Explorer! If I’m losing you here, let me explain some things.

First, the Internet is like a huge party line – remember when telephone companies, especially those in rural areas, had party lines? Literally, tens of thousands of people can be on the World Wide Web (aka “www”) and the idea of singles meeting – like that old guy on TV with his “eHarmony” matchmaking service – has taken hold like a forest fire with a gusty wind.

So you have a computer with internet service and you see where there’s a dating site called something like “CouchPotatoesAlive.Com” and you decide to check it out. First they want you to give yourself a “screen name” – something unique to identify you. Many unimaginative folks like myself use some form of their name or where they live (“Bearvalleyjogger” or “lefthim4U” or “Horseladyjudy”) – some practically write an advertisement (“Spenthiscash” was my favorite).

Next comes something like 20 questions: What’s your age, marital status education, occupation, color of hair and eyes & more. You’re supposed to be honest but many site members leave some answers blank. Some even just answer the astrological sign as if compatibility alone will help them find a match. They also want you to post a picture, several if you so desire, and most ante up with a traditional “head shot” but there are those brain dead contributors who submit a fuzzy, outdated or non-descript long shot wearing sunglasses & even though management of the site supposedly polices what gets posted or not – like tasteless nudity – some garbage gets put up.

Now you get the chance to explain why you’re spending your money on doing this – it’s called your profile – and you can tell about yourself (how you loathe expensive restaurants and cruises, or just the opposite) and then detail just what it is you’re looking for in a match and you can be matched for more than one reason: Pen pal being the least committing; marriage or a serious relationship being the further swing of the pendulum. Harrumph. The brain dead ones usually check all the boxes so you have no idea what their goal is for being on the site. Someone needs to get them a puppy with an overactive bladder.

Next time, we explore results from Internet Dating. Right now the score is Flakes-5, Guiseppe-0.

Guiseppe V. can be reached by calling The Loop at (661) 822-8188 or emailing [email protected].