2017: No foolin'

It's the first day of April and oh, how I love the first of April! And so far I am loving 2017! So many good things have been happening to me lately that I hardly know where to begin.

I guess it all started last week when I went out to Sand Canyon for a little hiking and nature loving, and while I was there I managed to fall in a large sink-hole. I didn't break any bones, but I did break my camera so I have no pictures to show you, but let me tell you, it was a pretty fantastic experience.

I couldn't get myself out of the hole so I had to wait for help, and while I was waiting it started to rain. I got pretty wet but since I was also thirsty, that actually helped when I licked the rain drops off my skin. Actually, that must have saved my life, as I was in that hole for a day or two (or maybe three). I spent a lot of time day-dreaming, and night dreaming when I slept, and in my dreams I met quite a few wonderful people who seemed to float in and out of the hole and who were very friendly and nice and encouraging even as the rain kept on raining.

Then the sky cleared and a most beautiful rainbow appeared and it looked like it started right at my feet or ended. Yes! The end of the rainbow. Since I didn't have anything else to do I started digging and, hallelujah, I found a pot of gold. Well, the pot was gold colored anyway, or maybe copper, or maybe it was just orange, but it was big and sturdy and when I got it out, set it up and stood on it, it gave me enough height to pull myself out of the hole.

I was a little sore and bruised, so I stopped by the new hospital on my way home, thinking I should get checked out, but it wasn't open yet, so I went to Denny's instead for a bite, but they didn't have anything hot to eat or drink. So I moved on to Burger Spot, where I got to talking to another diner over french fries about life and death and other things I hold dear, and she offered me a job as an alpaca packer.

So – tomorrow I start my new job packing alpacas for shipping! It won't be easy, I'm told – they don't like to be wrapped in bubble wrap and put in boxes – but I am ready and anxious to learn this new skill.

Oh yes, I also want you to know that week before last I was playing around and mixing up some chemicals and old pills for fun and I accidently created a potion that seems to have cured my arthritis (that's how I was able to go hiking last week). Man does that stuff work good!... even though it smells and tastes like... well... bad. As soon as I can figure out all the stuff I was messing with and the proportions I used, I plan to package it up and sell it and become a millionaire and buy a new camera!

Speaking of which, my last little bit of great news is that while I was in the hole in Sand Canyon I won the California lottery. My roommate has my winning ticket, and as soon as I find her and get it I plan to cash it in and share the loot with all you lucky readers. It might take a while – when I got home all excited to tell her about the alpaca packing gig, I saw all her things are missing and she is nowhere to be found and she left no note – but I'm sure the checks will be in the mail soon.

Meanwhile, I hope you all are having as much fun as I am on this April Fool's Day! No foolin'! Really!