Another day, another colonoscopy

I had my first colonoscopy in 2001, I was 53 years old and my doctor thought it was a good idea. A colonoscopy is a routine, preventative procedure that involves a tube with a camera being slid up the rectum so the doctor can get a good look at innards like the colon. But while it does sound gruesome, it can also be a lifesaver (discovering colon cancer early makes it treatable) and the magic age of 50 is the point at which everyone should get checked.

I didn’t know anything about colonoscopies at the time, except that the whole idea sounded awful and like some sort of medieval torture in the actual logistics, and I was dreading it. But I soon found out that the preparation day (the day before) is the worst part of the whole ordeal as in these modern times the patient pretty much sleeps though the actual “filming” or “photo shoot” (as I decided to think of it).

You see, in order for the doctor to see with the camera, a person’s insides have to be totally cleaned out. That means following strict instructions about eating and drinking, which at that time involved a day of not eating and drinking plenty of water along with specialized formula and regular laxatives.

When the pharmacist advised me that if I didn’t follow directions exactly, the doctor might not be able to do the procedure and I might have to go through it all again, that put the fear of god into me and for maybe the first time in my life I actually followed written directions to a T. The formula tasted awful but I drank every drop, thinking how M&Ms or potato chips or something like that would cut the taste, but of course solid foods were a no-no. So I drank…and drank…and drank…and then I started visiting the bathroom. It’s a heck of a way to spend the day.

Waking up the next day in recovery, I wasn’t sure anything had been done until my doctor showed up with a full-color picture of my colon and the polyps he’d removed. As soon as I was fully awake, I went directly to breakfast – actually a short walk across the parking lot to a Tom’s Restaurant in Lancaster – and ate as much as I could stuff into my face (it felt soooo good to be chewing!). I slept most of the rest of the day, waking up periodically to happily masticate more solid food.

The whole experience wasn’t so bad at all, and yet, because they did find polyps (pre-cancerous) I was advised that I should have colonoscopies more regularly than if they’d found nothing. So to date I’ve gone through that process four times now, most recently just a couple of weeks ago. The good news is that each time the day before gets easier with giant advancements in the still yukky tasting formulas, and you still sleep through the actual procedure.

(Thanks to other more modern advancements, I woke up this last time and watched the “filming” on monitor a little while, wanting to ask questions but still being out of it enough that I couldn’t speak at all and soon fell back to sleep. I also once again woke up feeling fine and ravenous and enjoyed a great Marie Calendar’s breakfast!)

No one really likes going through this sort of medical test but I must tell you, it sure beat the alternative. I’ll take a day of prep followed by a sleepy day any time over treatment for colon or intestinal cancer.

I also know many people put off this sort of thing, and other invasive check-ups, and I’m here to tell you that in spite of the crude jokes and the way your imagination works about what it’s all about, it really is no big deal, and certainly nothing to fear, and certainly a small price to pay for hopefully avoiding longer and more involved treatments like chemo and/or radiation.

If I can do it all these times, you can, too. Over 50? Get it scheduled and out of the way and think how much better off you are when you’re actively taking care of yourself.

© Copyright 2017. Mel White, a local writer/photographer, has been writing “On the Bright Side” columns for various newspapers since 1996. She is also co-owner/founder of the unusual and eclectic Treasure Trove in downtown Tehachapi; she can be reached at [email protected]