The puns keep coming

Mel Makaw.

The puns just keep on a-comin' and a-comin', and I gotta admit, I'm glad they do. There's nothing like a good play on words to brighten up dreary rainy days like the ones we've been having lately, especially the ones that provide a good chuckle (or even a good groan).

And based on the feedback I get from readers – not to mention the numerous puns I receive from friends and strangers alike – many of you like them as much as I do.

So here, then, are some more funny punny offerings from my acquired collection for your enjoyment:

What's the best present you can give? A broken drum (nobody can beat that).

I made a paper airplane, but it just hovered in one spot like a helicopter. Then I remembered it was stationery.

I wondered all night where the sun went... then in dawned on me. (That was very enlightening.)

Out of all the inventions in the last 100 years, the dry erase board is probably the most remarkable.

I was so bored at home that I memorized six pages of the dictionary. I learned next to nothing.

The man that invented the Ferris Wheel never met the man who invented the Merry Go Round. They traveled in different circles.

Yesterday morning I felt really hungry and ate 20 pancakes for breakfast. You wouldn't believe how waffle I felt the rest of the day.

If a pig has a rash, does the vet prescribe oinkment?

My daughter is taking ballet classes – they are really keeping her on her toes.

Always order prune juice to go.

I won a gold medal at the weather forecasting championship today. I beat the raining champ.

On my son's fourth birthday, I didn't recognize him. I'd never seen him be four.

I've got heaps of jokes about unemployment, but none of them work.

Bugs Bunny loved listening to his grandma's bedtime stories – he was all ears.

I made some fish tacos last night. But they just ignored them and swam away.

My wife and I were having a petty argument at a local pub. A mutual friend overheard us and came to our table, grabbed our fries and the cups of coleslaw, and left. We both really like this guy but really wish he would stop taking sides.

Having a little nap on the sofa before taking myself up to bed for my main sleep... I call that a snors d'oeuvre.

I accidently handed my wife crazy glue when she asked for the Chapstick. She's still not speaking to me.

My cousin just lost his job at the clock factory. They said he was putting in too many hours.

When I lost the fingers on my right hand in a freak accident, I asked the doctor if I would still be able to write with it. He said, "Probably, but I wouldn't count on it."

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, "Well, this changes everything!"

Keep enjoying... and keep sending me those puns... and keep smiling!

© 2024 Mel Makaw. Mel, local writer/photographer and author of On the Bright Side, a Collection of Columns (available locally at Tehachapi Arts Center and Healthy Hippie Trading Co.), welcomes your comments at [email protected]/.