New year, new you?

Rev. Joshua Pierce, MDiv, RADT.

The new year has always been celebrated as a time for transition into new and better things. Those things differ from individual to individual and usually take the form of New Year's Resolutions.

At this time of year, any business with a membership or subscription is offering deals. My favorite are the gyms who offer deals on membership for the new year. They anticipate that within a few weeks of joining the majority of people who made a resolution to get in shape will abandon their resolution and, if you're like me, forget to cancel their membership.

As someone who runs a mental health clinic, I have no doubt that our therapy and counseling schedules will be full. But, most will have cancelled their recurring appointments by early March, their lives will return to normal and they will carry on with their usual routines.

All of that said, it is only a few days into 2025, how are your resolutions going? Has your motivation begun to wane or are you still going strong? Are you still committed to a "New Year, New You" or have you set it aside? For the few reading this who are going strong, good for you and keep up the good work. For the rest of us, who started out strong but quickly lost motivation, I have some thoughts.

Cognitive distortions are at the heart of why New Year's resolutions fail. Particularly, black and white thinking, which causes us to see our resolutions as all-or-nothing. It is a distortion that reduces the complexity of life and goals into a simplistic either/or. Do any of the following sound familiar? Either I am going to lose weight and get healthy or stay out of shape. Either 2025 is going to be better than 2024 or it's going to be worse. Either I go to the gym every day or I am a failure. These examples almost sound ridiculous, but ... we've all thought them. Maybe not in these exact words, but we have all thought them.

Cognitive distortions such as black or white thinking set us up to for failure before we start. No wonder New Year's resolutions are so hard to keep. Rather than a New Year, New You approach, I propose New Year, Improving You. It does not have the same ring to it, but I can guarantee it will increase your chances of success.

Overcoming cognitive distortions requires them to be identified and challenged. First, when setting a goal, is it reasonable and can it be measured? A goal to go from $0 to $1,000,000 within a year is unreasonable. Instead, a goal to have a certain amount of debt paid off or a certain amount saved is reasonable. A goal to get healthy is vague and unmeasurable. But, a goal of getting healthier by losing 25 pounds is measurable.

The next step to overcoming cognitive distortions is to temper your expectations. "Progress, not perfection" is the mantra I use to remind myself to be realistic. If I have not been to the gym in two years and expect to go every day is unrealistic and will, at most, only last a couple of weeks. A realistic expectation would be to commit to going to the gym every Monday for the next six weeks. Once that becomes routine, add another day. Going from saving nothing every month to saving $500 a month will create a financial burden or suck all the fun out of your life. Instead, start by saving just enough that you notice and can still be comfortable with. The eventual goal of saving $500 a month might be a reasonable goal, but starting with $25 the first month and $30 the next is manageable and measurable.

As you pursue your resolutions for 2025 remember these tips.

• Set goals that are reasonable and measurable.

• Start with small changes and move to larger ones.

• Expect challenges and be flexible.

• Find out what methods work for you through trial and error.

If you would like help with setting goals and expectations my staff and I are here to help. Give us a call at (661) 750-0438.